Dieter Rams Should Sue Everyone

September 20, 2011 § Leave a comment

These Ipads and Galaxy wars are getting brutal – it seems Apple and Samsung are just leveling the world of digital flatscreen talk to lawsuits and tit for tat.

I think it’s time we, the people, reassert that this idea of copying and who owns what is a pretty ridiculous argument to have. Every designer steals – it’s what….. did Picasso say, “makes a great artist”? Apple sues for the rights of their Ipad Design while Samusung sues for the design of the Ipod 5 to be outlawed in some British Isle. It doesn’t really take much to notice that their are design wars going on in one of the quickly solidifying technologies of the last decade. Just like all cars seem to have four wheels, hinged doors, and a gasoline powered engine – all of these portable smart devices seem to be in the middle of a copy and paste war. That usually leads to everyone being bored, I’m already bored and I don’t even have a smart device.

I think the solution is a natural one – Dieter Rams should sue everyone. His designs are so strikingly similar to all Apple products he should be crowned their emperor – and he looks like Peter Eisenmann which tells me he’d be capable of accepting such a pompous title in the modern age. Sue everyone, Mr. Rams, from Apple to Samsung. Sue everyone in between – sue me even.. I’m pretty sure I copied some of his designs while making a lamp or something.

The guy is amazing, ahead of his time, and when at first sight you know cool you are looking at Dieter Rams work. So, Mr. Rams – the green light is lit, sue away and end this international squabble over the 2nd dimension.

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An Apple Story: The Crowded Apple Store

July 29, 2011 § Leave a comment

Apple products are pretty great. Great in that they take nothing to have up and running, nothing to learn, and (for me) their hardware and program integrity last and remain predictably reliable.

I have had this same Macbook for 5 years, an eternity in my experience, and it has been nothing but the best for me. Sure, it was undersized in grad school. Of course its keyboard started falling apart at year 3. And yes, it was already the old model by the second year of ownership. However, this little computer had made me a lifelong believer in Apple computers.

Like all good fairytales they end. You can keep making Shrek movies people, but the magic is gone! My first Apple product, the Macbook that swayed me into the very uber cliched world of the glowing apple, had gone bad. The hard drive had followed the aging keyboard and battery. It had gone the way of the dodo, finished, kaput. Maybe it was leaving it in the car for a July afternoon in Texas. Maybe it felt unused after I brought in the IMac last September. It could have been jealous of these new ipads and MacAir things people sit at coffee shops with. Maybe it was cosmetic, the chips keyboard making it feel all fat and dodgy.

Or maybe it was the five year old laptop that had finally said enough was enough. Either way, I took my first trip to an Apple store to find a fix (because I’m loyal to the innanimate objects I purchase and have lasted more than two years with, I blame Disney and Tubby the Tuba).

First off, the Apple store is always stinking busy. Years ago, it was a trendy place with young professional Adobe hempsters and tattooed cargo short wearing twenty somethings rubbing shoulders with their mac counterparts. Now it’s full of suburban moms and dazed boring dads cooing along shifty neon wearing teens pushing on the ipad thinking “what can I do with this other than play farmville” yet still willing to dive in front of a city bus to have their parents buy it. Getting to the genius bar requires flashing a nipple or mooning the blue t-shirt wearing employee who is usually sliding their finger on some electronic pad and doing anything but making eye contact with anything but an apple screen. I think they took their cue from Abercrombie – have a good measure of disgust for your customer – or a drug dealer for that matter. The most prompt attention I’d ever seen was when I flipped off my friend while they took a picture with the new iphone, or ipad, or isomething. Don’t use the middle finger in the Apple store.

Truthfully, the genius bar went great – my lil macbook was plugged in and I sat there and hoped for life to spring back into her. Nothing happened, my hard drive was gone and the chipped keyboard was soon scheduled to be replaced along with the drive. I was sad, I left the store with my empty incase and counted the 3-4 days it would take to repair. Promises were made, the keyboard was going to be new as was the harddrive, and I was going to have a my mac before the next rain came (still waiting Austin!). It’s embarrasing to say, but I was sad as I left – like leaving Ramses at the dogcare for a week. Sad.

Sure enough, 100 dollars and a week, my Mac is back. Sure, the entire computer feels new – from the empty generic desktop to the brank new slightly rough keyboard. I have the old hard drive in a box in my backseat – sitting in the heat (that’ll show it), and I think we’re both ready for another five years of getting older and slower. But  I have quietly promised never to make it do another Rhino V-Ray rendering again and to have its hardest task being a Quicken budget or a too long blog post.

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